Your English is Good "Injustice is my middle name"

An old post I wrote on a blog I created for school:

When English Fails Us: Gender Neutral Pronouns

But how could our lovely language fail us? It’s impossible!

*Ahem* Look at the following sentence:

A teacher who wants to become a writer should focus on _____ students first.

You’ve likely had this problem before: what word should be used in the blank? Some people will tell you “his” will work as a generic for all; others might suggest “s/he” or equally clunky variants. In all the years that professionals have had to come up with a consensus on this issue, what we’ve seen is only more confusion. World Wide Words has a nice list of the many possibilities that can be implemented when you’re stuck in this rut.

Yet, like most professional writers and editors will tell you, there is no definitive answer, so whatever you use may be subject to scrutiny.

Here’s the basic ideas of the list and the ramifications:

• Use “he”, “his” (the politically correct world will stab you)
• Use “he/she” or “s/he” or “(s)he”, etc. (anyone who hates reading these pests will stab you)
• Use “they”, “their” in the singular (hard-line grammarians will stab you)
• Use a made-up pronoun (everyone will think you’re crazy, more on this later)
• Use “she”, “her” (this one may be a smart move, but how is it any less sexist than “he”?)
• Make it so you don’t need a pronoun (that would be SO annoying to have to rewrite)
• Repeat the subject so there is no pronoun (that would be SO annoying to have to read)
• Use the plural (hmm, this one works well, but again, it forces you to rewrite, and there are instances in which this won’t always work)

All right, so some of these might work if you’re willing to put in the time to rephrase everything you write just so you can use (or avoid using) a tiny little pronoun. Some have argued that we already have a great alternative in “they” and “their” and that history has not always looked unkindly on using them in this way. In fact, many of us use it in our daily speech:

I don’t trust a politician who won’t vote their convictions.

There have also been several attempts to create a new pronoun that would be gender-neutral (sometimes also referred to as “epicene”). Imagine using “tey” and “tem” or “shem” and “herm”. No wonder these haven’t caught on. I can’t see anyone saying:

I feel sorry for any child who has to throw away herm old toys.

So have I convinced you that English has failed us in this instance? It’s a wonderful language with an ever-expanding vocabulary and diversity. But beware: its trance-like appeal tends to hide the uglier parts. And when you find them, you wonder how something like this could go so long without solving. I suppose too many grammarians spoil the stew.